Adventures in Bedlam

Positivity

Lately I've fallen back into a bad habit. I've been reading the comments posted on news stories--and not just any news stories, the controversial ones. I read the comments on reports I know are going to bring out the crazies (and by crazy I mean anyone who doesn't agree with my point of view). I'm kind of just kidding about what I deem to be crazy but you know what I mean. It's like I'm purposely searching for things that will get my dander up.

In the early days of the Internet, I was naive and earnestly commented on issues that were important to me. I never engaged in spewing hate, but I confess to trying, now and then, to present my argument in a thoughtful way to try to sway other commenters. It wasn't long before I realized that spirited debate was mostly not the point. Comments on news and other stories were and are just an opportunity for the angry, often prejudiced, mob to spread their venom. I quickly learned that message boards and reader comments were not the place for me.

Some people get off on this sort of thing, but I take everything so personally. I recently read a news story about Los Angeles boycotting the state of Arizona in response to their new immigration law and headed straight to the comments because I knew they were going to be rough. A lot of people didn't have very nice things to say about the city I live in and love. And I actually got depressed.

But like I said, this has sort of become a habit with me lately. For the last year or so I've been visiting the website of the Catholic League simply because I know there's going to be something on it that's going to piss me off. That's a little sick, no?

I mostly find that when I'm writing (or editing/revising, as I am now), I tend to get on a roll where the words flow freely and then I suddenly hit a brick wall and I'm stuck (for instance, I'm stuck now and I decided to take a break to write up this post). The first thing I want is distraction, and we all know their ain't nothing more distracting than the Internet. And when I'm finished checking email, CNN, Facebook, etc. and those words still aren't flowing, the next thing I do is feed my compulsion for negativity via blogs, websites, and reader comments that I know will ruffle my feathers.

I am declaring a moratorium, here and now, on this behavior because it serves no purpose other than to upset me. I have enough going on in this head of mine--I definitely don't need to look for negativity elsewhere.

What about you? Are you sometimes drawn to negativity or do you try only to engage in positivity?

An Open Letter to Friends & Family Who Support Prop 8

Dear Friends & Family,

 

I am writing this letter to urge you to vote NO on Prop 8, which seeks to eliminate marriage for same-sex couples.

 

Prop 8 will take away the right of same-sex couples to marry in the state of California.  They have had the right to marry in California since June 18, 2008.  Their marriage licenses are valid, legal, and no different than yours and mine. 

Having a marriage recognized by your church or religion is different from civil marriage.  If you attend a specific church, you probably have both a civil marriage and a marriage recognized by the church you attend.  I only have a civil marriage.  Nobody is trying to force any church or religion to marry same-sex couples, nor are they asking churches or religions to recognize civil marriages as fulfilling the requirements of marriage of a particular religion.

 

Taking away the fundamental civil rights of otherwise qualified adults is wrong.  Don't use your religious beliefs, which are arguably the most precious thing in your life, as an excuse to descriminate.  You may not like to hear it, but if you support Prop 8 that is exactly what you're doing.  What if someone was trying to deny you the right to legally marry the person you love because you don't share their religious beliefs or because your marriage is not recognized by any religious body?  Or if you do belong to a specific religion, is my marriage any less valid than yours, just because I am not married in a church?  Or because I don't have children?  Of course not.  In the state of California, my marriage is just as legal and just as valid.  So should it be for same-sex couples, whose relationships deserve the same respect and validation as ours, regardless of religious beliefs.  Marriage brings emotional, social, and financial benefits that are being denied to thousands of American citizens every day.  That descrimination cannot continue.

 

My marriage is the most important thing in my life.  That is why I am so passionately in favor of the rights of same-sex couples to marry if they choose to.  I know how wonderful marriage can be and don't want other loving couples to be denied that right.  I can't imagine how it would feel if someone was trying to take that away from me, can you?  That's exactly what Prop 8 is trying to do to same-sex couples. 

 

I'm asking you to do the right thing and not use your religious beliefs as an excuse to descriminate.  Your beliefs are too important to lessen by doing that.

 

Holly

Change is in the Air

Ah!  It's fall, my favorite time of year.  Actually, I'm not sure if it's actually fall yet, but let's pretend it is for the sake of this post.

You may have noticed that I haven't been posting lately.  I haven't been doing much of anything lately.  All right, that's not strictly true, but I certainly haven't been writing about or taking pictures of anything I've been doing, so no blog posts.

But I'm thinking that has to change, because if there's one thing I hate, it's a blog that's never updated.  I've been feeling constrained by my blog a little bit though because I've tried really hard to keep it about my creative endeavors and not much about personal matters or opinions.  It's not that I want to get all poltical or touchy-feely on you, but hey, these are troubled times, and sometimes the girl has thoughts that don't have much to do with gemstones or yarn or lipgloss.

So with change in mind, I've updated my blog "theme," and I plan on expanding, at least slightly, the topics I blog about in the hope that I may be a little more prolific.  Lest you think this is blogging for the sake of blogging, it's actually an attempt to write something, anything, on a regular basis, because this is a habit I simply must get into if I'm ever going to get that freakin' novel written.

Let's begin, shall we, with 5 things you may or may not know about me, but that inform many of my choices and attitudes about life:

1)  I don't work for a living, which is a really cool thing.  However, just like everyone else, I struggle with identity and finding a "role" for myself, which is why I'm constantly doing new things.  Sometimes people use their jobs to define themselves--it's so easy to say I'm a "doctor" or "lawyer" or "teacher," but I can't do that and honestly, it makes me feel awkward.

2)  I am registered as a Green Party member, but I mostly vote democratic.  I considered registering as a democrat for this election, but decided against it because I still find the democratic party and many of it's politicians way too conservative for my liking.  I guess I would define myself as Green, with some vague Libertarian tendencies, 'cause basically, I don't want to be fucked with by the government.

3)  I am an atheist.  I don't believe in God or any other "magical thinking."  What I should probably say though is that there is no [scientific] evidence to support the existence of God, and so I don't believe.  Since I come from a religious (Catholic) background, it might be easy to assume that I am atheist out of anger or resentment but this is simply not the case.  My personal quest for truth led me to this place and I do not regret it, nor do I apologize for it.

4)  I struggle with my weight and self-image.  Over the last three years I have lost over 25 pounds and more or less successfully maintained the loss.  For the first time since childhood I actually have a positive image of my body and in general, myself.  It would've been nice if this had come about through something other than weight loss (like simply accepting myself for who I am and disregarding societal pressure to become thinner) but ultimately, I don't really care.  I am proud of this accomplishment and am thankful to finally have the weight off my body and more importantly, off my mind.  Which isn't to say that I don't think about it, because in order to maintain my weight I've obviously got to think about what I eat.  It's just not anywhere near as punitive as it once was.

5)  I am not really a feminist, except when it comes to reproductive choice issues.  I am a woman who has chosen not to procreate and I believe passionately in women having easy and affordable (like free) birth control on demand.  Someone told me once "If men were the ones who had children, there would be abortion on demand."  Methinks this might be true.  That said, I believe in pregnancy prevention, not necessarily in pregnancy termination, and folks, if you think your reproductive choice isn't at risk, you're wrong.  My last doctor actually refused to prescribe me birth control on the grounds of her religious beliefs.  I left the office in tears, and then felt a sort of terror.

If you have a blog it would be cool if you wrote 5 things about yourself--but dig deep--at least deeper than "my favorite color is blue."  Put the link in my comments because I'd love to read them!